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  • Philly Irene

A Tugboat to steer you into Wabi-Sabi Land

Updated: Oct 24, 2020

Continuing with the metaphor of tugboats steering a huge cargo vessel, away from the anti-aging ship route, may I present a little, but mighty Tugboat# 1.


I stopped looking at beauty and fashion magazines and just about all magazines - COMPLETELY.

I think it's been about 5 years now. Why? I realized I was constantly comparing myself to incredibly beautiful women, some older, but predominately younger. And I was focusing on my outward appearance, hating this part or that part of me, becoming more and more depressed, spending more time on trying to find those anti-aging cures. I thought how what we see portrayed as beautiful, especially if it is only one type of beauty, can so completely narrow and distort our vision. And since I don't have a TV or internet connection, I have also been able to escape the constant barrage of images of young, beautiful things. Instead I read and looked at sites about women letting their hair go gray, images of older women who hadn't had bo-tox, or surgery, or expert make overs. I also skipped those photos of women in their 60's, who seemed to just not age. Just reading or viewing a few articles and images, though was not enough - decades and decades of being told what is beautiful is difficult to change. So it took years ...

But what did helped a lot, were comments by younger women on these various sites. They saw a beauty that was so different and unique from theirs. They saw life experience and wisdom that they wanted. I have to admit that I needed to hear that. And gradually, I started to see beauty that was exotic and unique.

And now when I walk past a clothing or cosmetic window display with beautiful, young models, I experience something very different than I would have 5 or more years ago. These women are still beautiful, but just as I would find images of toddlers and babies just amazingly breathtaking, I do not have the desire to disguise, mold and shape myself into their faces or bodies.

I have started to use this little, but mighty tugboat in helping me to embrace the bags under my eyes, which only started appearing several years ago. Again, after spending much time and money trying to "fix" my eyes and face, I have started collecting pictures, that in my new way of looking, has allowed me to find people who I find beautiful but have bags under their eyes!

There are many tugboats, and once that cargo vessel starts turning around, you will discover how the view from that cargo ship changes drastically.

You may read all this and just think I am being delusional. You may not relate to the dismay and depression I describe in growing older, and perhaps are very happy with how you are navigating growing older. If so, keep doing what you are doing.

But if you do struggle, I hope you will join me on this journey to a new land.

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